Whilst I still flee it too much unthinkingly1, ritually2, compulsively3, I sometimes find myself not wanting to get up out of my bed or not start the work I should be doing.
In those cases, I found it useful to allow myself to hold off, but only under the condition of boredom. That is, I’m not forcing myself to work and build resentment and mental/emotional strain but give myself some freedom instead, without distractions though. To instead just be. It usually doesn’t take long until I start kinda wanting to do the task. Either bc not doing anything is too boring and now working on smth feels like a good alternative, or maybe I even already started mentally engaging w the task and now I just wanna actually do it.
The boredom of being under the shower also frequently ends up being very engaging, enjoyable, and quite valuable: it let’s me process the day, as well as resurface ideas that have been had in moments were they couldn’t be acted on or captured. But it’s not just a space to process things afterwards, but just as often a time to mentally prepare for what’s coming up next and frequently brings good ideas (e.g. for posts), lets me draft or think things through I want to do.
Since I really value those moments, I’m still feeling hesitant and a bit torn about my Plan to get into Music, what if starting to like music reduces how often I have those moments? What I’m seeking is the experience of enjoying music, but I don’t really want another way to distract myself.
Footnotes
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by idly reaching for my phone when a dull moment comes up ↩
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e.g. watching YT when eating by myself ↩
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e.g. doing dishes or a similar task without listening to a podcast or audiobook feels wrong now.
There often is a moment when going through airport security when my headphones and phone are in the plastic box, I just passed through the person-scanner thing and with mild alarm now realize “I have to wait. Alone. My phone cannot be w me right now”. ↩